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Throwing his arms up in the air, local programmer Abe Steiglitz recently expressed frustration at his inability to get his beep boop machine to beep enough.
Steiglitz, who has been working on the issue since arriving at the big beep boop code company earlier this morning, has reportedly tried all of the usual beep-coaxing tricks to no avail.
“I’ve got the boops all lined up but I just can’t figure out these darned beeps,” said Steiglitz, running his hands through his hair.
Steiglitz then proceeded to solicit advice from his co-worker Albert Brondonowitz sitting in the beep boop cube next to him, who came over and took a look at his beep boop code.
“Well my only thought is right here, you have two loops full of boops,” said Brondonowitz, squeezing a stress ball printed with the company’s slogan “Get Out There And Beep.” “You might want to put a couple of beeps here to see if you can get it beeping before trying anything else.”
Though at press time Steiglitz seemed unlikely to meet his daily beep quota, sources indicated he was planning on calling in his company’s beep consultant if he was still having trouble by the end of the day.
“The issue with beeps is they never stay beeping,” said Steiglitz. “It’s hard to get boops off the ground but at least once you get the boops started you can keep them booping.”
Despite Steiglitz’s beep troubles, sources inside the big beep boop code company are reporting the company is on the verge of landing its most lucrative extrajudicial surveillance contract with the National Security Agency yet.
