Friday, November 15, 2019
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The Brown Noser

Fuck It, “Proficient In Google Docs” Going On Resume

Published Friday, October 25th, 2019

Poring over his sparse resume, senior Jake Peters decided that, fuck it, “Proficient in Google Docs” was going on there.

“I know that Google Docs isn’t exactly a talent,” Peters confessed as he figured he might as well add the line to the “Skills” section of his resume. “But what the hell, it seems relevant enough. And at this point anything goes. I just need to fill space.”

Choosing to look past the fact that just about everyone with a computer is proficient in Google Docs, Peters brazenly threw the line in his resume between “Knows Basic Spanish” and “Experience with Adobe Creative Suite.”

“I figure if I sneak it in with a list of actual skills, it’ll seem sort of valid,” Peters reasoned to himself, hoping that a basic understanding of a notoriously user-friendly word processor would somehow be interpreted as a useful and impressive skill. “It can’t hurt… right?”

At press time, Peters vaguely lauded his “interpersonal skills” in a cover letter, because why the hell not.

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