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An introductory game of “Never Have I Ever” played in a third floor Perkins hallway revealed that Mark Norbacher ’15 has kissed on the first date and killed a man.
“I don’t know how I feel about living just a few doors down from someone who has kissed on the first date,” said Ryan Lee ’15, a hallmate of Norbacher’s. “You would think an institution as prestigious as Brown would have conducted a more thorough background check before accepting its students."
“I mean come on, on the first date?” he added.
The game was going quite smoothly for Norbacher, whose only admissions had been to typical things like drinking in high school, masturbating and killing his ex-girlfriend Katie. But when one of his hallmates declared, “Never have I ever kissed on the first date,” Mark knew things were about to get really uncomfortable.
“I was mortified,” Norbacher recalls. But he ultimately had no choice but to lower his bloody finger in shame. “I’ve done some bad things, sure — but I would never stoop so low as to lie during a game of ‘Never Have I Ever.’”
But honesty has its price. The simple ice-breaker was not intended as a forum for a revelation of this magnitude. The game soon came to an abrupt end due in large part to feelings of disgust and discomfort over what Norbacher had apparently done.
Allison Janowits, Norbacher’s biggest detractor, couldn’t be reached for comment because she had been murdered.
