Stephen's articles
An introductory game of “Never Have I Ever” played in a third floor Perkins hallway revealed that Mark Norbacher ’15 has kissed on the first date and killed a man.
“I don’t know how I feel about living just a few doors down from someone who has kissed on the first date,” said Ryan Lee ’15, a hallmate of Norbacher’s.
The Brown Department of Public Safety likes to think of itself as made up of cool, attractive men and women - the kind with whom anyone would want to socialize (and more). However, this positive self-image has been shaken recently as officers have had virtually no success getting laid at various parties both on and off campus.
Jason McKnight '11 is having trouble focusing on academics. Now in his eighth semester, McKnight seems to have shifted his priorities as of late. Instead of finishing that reading due tomorrow, he is now more apt to "chill with friends" and "enjoy what time he has left.
Almost every student who comes to Brown University seeks out a best friend. Someone she can relate to, someone with common interests and someone with whom she spends most all of her time. Angela has Thomas. Zack can't live without Ben. But perhaps the closest friends of all are Trevor and James.
(Copy editors' note: remove bracketed text.)
It has come to the attention of the writing staff here at the (Noser) Brown Noser that many of our much-belabored-over articles, when printed, appear in an entirely different form than (what we) originally intended.
It seems a veritable revolution has started on the fourth floor of Morriss Hall, where Sage Abrams '14 has begun an active campaign of non-violent resistance against the undue cruelty and injustice that is his three-page paper assignment for his first year seminar, HIST0970X: "Gandhi's Way.
State and local police are still searching for the killer of 24-year-old Providence resident Gary Studnik, but despite a bevy of clues, a lack of viable suspects is making the case nearly impossible to solve. Studnik was somehow pushed out of his fifth-story window, despite the fact that the door to his apartment had not been opened in the two weeks prior to Studnik's demise.
In a case that has left Brown Health Services confounded, Timothy Henderson'13, continues to lie sick in bed as he has done for days-yet no doctor will see him. The reason: daily consumption of apples.
"It all started about two weeks ago, when I first got sick," Henderson recalls.
All across campus professors are up in arms over the release of a new student publication, the Hypercritical Review, which reports on the minutiae of instructors' teaching habits in order to better inform students' decisions come registration.
The Noser talked to Hypercritical Review founder and president, Jeremy Wood '11, to find out exactly what prompted him to start this new publication.
Esther Lee '13 feels betrayed. She joined the Brown University Tae Kwon Do Club to learn more about her Korean heritage, to get into shape, and to gain the ability to defend herself. But no one could defend Lee from the terrible truth of Brown's only Tae Kwon Do organization: They were actually teaching Karate.
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