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The Brown Noser

Gay Straight Alliance Seems A Little More Gay Than Straight

Published Friday, March 15th, 2024

According to sources, the Gay Straight Alliance club seems like it’s mostly gay.

“I totally get how gayness is involved with the club,” said sophomore Alex Danov, a prospective GSA member, who after the club day presentation was unsure on how they incorporated straight people into the organization. “They just kind of seem like more of an afterthought, even though their title makes straight people seem pretty central to the club.”

“Our club is called the Gay Straight Alliance because it unites people from a variety of sexualities in creating a safe space in fighting for queer justice,” said GSA Club president, despite it seeming likely the variety of sexualities is anything but straight. “We aren’t all queer, we actually have a straight ally in our club, Sam.”

“I truly believe in creating safe spaces for queer people in a heterodominant environment like our school,” said Sam, the token straight member of the club, adjusting the rainbow flag pin he got at the Miami Pride ‘22. “It is our duty as straight people to protect the brave, beautiful, and bold queer community.”

At press time, Sam came out.

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