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The Brown Noser

Girl Knows A Little Too Much About Menendez Brothers

Published Friday, March 11th, 2022

According to sources, local girl Kate Stanwick knows a little too much about the Menendez brothers.

“Listen, they’ve been through a lot, from the Pennington house to the Calabasas estate starting in the summer of ’87,” said Stanwick, alarming her roommates with her deep knowledge on the timeline of the convicted killers’ childhoods. “Their cousins from both the Cano and Van der Molen branches corroborated that in their testimony.”

“How could they have gotten a fair trial with Stanley Weisberg as the judge?” Stanwick asked, revealing much more than a passing knowledge on the brothers known for killing their parents. “I mean, he was the judge in the Rodney King case, and we all know how that went down.”

“It’s also crazy that after Lyle got arrested in March 1990, Erik was in London and could’ve avoided extradition,” said Stanwick, letting on that she’d done substantial research on all the possible outcomes of the Menendez case. “At that time, the UK’s extradition treaty with the US didn’t include criminals who were facing the death penalty.”

At press time, Stanwick unveiled a corkboard of slightly over-researched evidence that she had gathered to prove O.J. Simpson’s innocence.

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