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The Brown Noser

Girl Named After City Definitely Conceived There

Published Saturday, February 18th, 2023

According to multiple sources, sophomore Omaha Miller was definitely named after Omaha, Nebraska because she was conceived there.

“Omaha? Oh yeah, her parents definitely got it on in Nebraska,” reported classmate Julia Smith, deciding that the only reason a child would be named after Warren Buffett’s hometown is because her mother was impregnated there. “Clearly, her name pays tribute to Nebraska’s largest city, which must also be the place where she was conceived.”

“Maybe it’s a family name,” added Smith, trying to figure out why else her parents would equate their daughter to the city where the Reuben sandwich was created. “But I seriously doubt that Omaha was the best option. Really, the only explanation is that her parents got down and dirty in Nebraska, and they wanted to honor that moment by naming their child after the Big O.”

At press time, a student was definitely given the middle name “Rocky” to commemorate a beloved dog that once belonged to his parents.

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