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According to classmates in her NEUR 0010 class, Jessica Withers ’15 has demonstrated a complete lack of skill at the game Tetris during recent lectures.
Throughout every lecture, Withers’s utter ineptitude at playing Tetris is exhibited to every student within the first 20 rows of Salomon 101. Her consistent failure to execute both crucial and minor plays has taken a considerable toll on the class’s morale.
“It’s just painful to see,” said classmate James Frankle ’14. “I keep wanting to focus on the lecture, but I can’t seem to look away from her game. It’s like watching a car crash. Like a hundred car crashes."
Watching Withers try to move a column by clicking on it and dragging it, he added, “This is devastating.”
Sources close to the front row report that not only has Withers failed to eliminate a single row in four weeks of lecture, but she also appears to have been playing on the easiest difficulty.
“Her maneuvers are actually hurting her more than if she were to just let the blocks fall unhindered,” commented Fred Sanchez ‘13. “You hate to see this sort of thing."
Students exposed to the spectacle described it as “sobering” and “eerily self-reflective."
“I mean what is there to say?” said friend and classmate Rebecca Muntz ’15. “I want to help her, but I know this is a fight she needs to finish on her own. If only she would, like, read the directions or something. Maybe that would help. Probably not. But maybe.”
Withers was last seen unsuccessfully attempting to put a square on top of an “l”-shaped piece eliciting a hundred face-palms.
