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Sources report that Nora Stevens of Troop 41070 was really milking the whole absent father thing to boost cookie sales.
“The last thing my father said to me before he left was just how much he loved Tagalongs,” wept Stevens to a customer who simply asked how much the cookies were being sold for. “He just got up and walked out the door on my mom and me when I was six. It was devastating. It was actually a big part of the reason why I became a Girl Scout—to find a sense of belonging and community in those very difficult times. You know, because my father left us.”
“Hey, you over there. Yeah, you. Blue shirt,” shouted Stevens, motioning to a dad walking by with his two young girls. “I bet your girls would absolutely love two boxes of Thin Mints and three boxes of Samoas. It’s what my dad always used to get me. That is, until he left. Me and my mom, all alone. I was six. Just awful. Forgive me, it’s so hard to speak about. But you know what would ease the pain? Seeing you do for your girls what my dad can no longer do: buy them a few boxes of my Girl Scout cookies. We are selling them for $17.50 per box, but it is so worth it. Your girls will remember this for ages.”
At press time, Ensley of Troop 41610 was so naive to think the whole dementia grandma tactic could compete.
