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Local student Gilbert Sherman’s attempt to fix his broken glasses with a strip of Scotch tape straight down the nasal bridge has reportedly not improved his ongoing PR crisis as a complete and utter dork.
“Before the tape incident, he was at like, mild-nerd level,” said one of his socially superior peers, Haden Crawford. “But now, the tape has shot him up into boy-who-reminds-teacher-of-the-homework territory. Total yikes. Mind you, this is a guy who literally raises his pointer finger in the air and says ‘ahem’ before speaking in class.”
“I tried to tell him it looked bad—like the tape not only fails to match the color of his glasses, but also runs at a slight diagonal angle,” continued Crawford, who claimed he had to break the news slowly, like the way one might inform someone their hamster passed away. “But he just smiled and said, ‘It’s temporary,’ which made it 10 times worse because it meant he legitimately believed he had options.”
At press time, a flood of Reddit notifications was not helping an incel’s case.
