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The Brown Noser

Gonna Want To File That Table Leg Down Another Eighth Of An Inch, Dad Reports

Published Friday, December 6th, 2019

After finding your kitchen table to be a little wobbly, your dad reported that you’re probably gonna want to file that table leg down another eighth of an inch.

“I mean, you could stick some coasters under the other legs, but that’s really just a temporary fix,” he said, gesturing at the table. “No, what you wanna do is turn it over on its side, get a nice strong wood file and a ruler, and really get in there. Oh, and a Sharpie, since you’ll want to plan your work.”

Your dad also reported that you shouldn’t let this slide, because while a wobbly table might be fine for now, you don’t want to have one when there’s company over. He further stated that he gave you that toolbox for your birthday for a reason, and this would be the perfect time to break it out.

At press time, your dad had gone to get his tools from the car to fix the table himself.

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