Members of the Cardano family report that grandmother Paula Cardano has reached the age where her cooking is getting really bad.

“She used to make the most delicious ravioli,” said granddaughter Jessie Cardano as her grandmother dumped mayonnaise into some sort of stew she was making. “But those days seem to be over. Everything she cooks now is either flavorless or tastes like soap, for some reason.”

“We try to tell her that she doesn’t have to cook when we come over, we can just order takeout, but she always insists on making one of ‘Grandma’s special recipes,’” Cardano continued, watching the family matriarch put a whole head of broccoli in the microwave. “And then we have to thank her for the ‘lovely meal’ she made. I don’t how much longer we can keep up this charade.”

At press time, the family reported that grandfather Lou Cardano has reached the age where his stories are getting really boring.

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