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According to family sources, Grandpa only knows random-ass Christmas songs like “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.”
“I was playing ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ and everyone was singing along,” recounted Max Merrimont, who can play a whole repertoire of Christmas songs on the piano with at least one hand. “Except Grandpa. He kept suggesting I play one of his favorite carols, but who has ever even heard of ‘Between the Ox and the Grey Donkey?’"
“All of the songs Grandpa knows only refer to Santa as ‘Saint Nicolas,’” continued Merrimont, wondering what the chances are that “Frosty the Snowman” would ring a bell. “They all use words like ‘o’er’ and ‘unfurled.’ He even insisted we join him in singing ‘Let the Voice of Praise Rejoice’ instead of something normal like ‘Jingle Bells.’”
At press time, Grandpa was genuinely looking for the figgy pudding.
