Sources report that local grandfather Harold Bauman is really starting to look like shit. “Grandpa’s never been a looker, but things have really taken a turn for the worse recently” said grandson Josh Webster, describing how his grandfather had become pretty hideous in the last few months. “He’s just getting to that age where he looks like trash. The guy is haggard beyond belief. He always looks droopy. And it doesn’t help that he always wears a grimy Mets t-shirt.” Webster added that the whole family is praying for a speedy recovery of Grandpa Harold’s slightly less repulsive former appearance.

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