According to a report published by several of his classmates, local man Greg Stavig still hasn’t taken off his coat in class. “It’s been twenty minutes and he hasn’t budged even though it’s probably 70 degrees in here,” said Jill Sanchez, adding that it’s almost May and close to 70 degrees outside, too. “I can see beads of sweat dripping down his forehead at this point. Maybe he’s embarrassed and doesn’t want to draw too much attention to himself by taking off his coat halfway into the lecture. He could have done it when the whole class was staring at that girl in the front row unwrapping her Chipotle burrito ten minutes ago, but he missed his chance. Wonder what he’s gonna do next.” At press time, Greg had slightly unzipped his coat to reveal a thick, fuzzy sweater underneath.

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