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The Brown Noser

Gullible Magician Gasps After His Own Tricks

Published Friday, December 9th, 2016

Sources report that gullible magician Rooney Schultz, clearly baffled by the rabbit he just pulled out of his top hat, loudly gasped at his own magic trick.

“I am positive that my hat was completely empty the whole show but then, somehow, I was able to pull a rabbit out of it,” Schultz said after the show, taking off his magician tuxedo and magician gloves. “I’m definitely a skeptic. I don’t believe in magic but I just don’t know how else I could have done it.”

Audience members report that the whole time Schultz was pulling an endless multicolored scarf out of his mouth, he was shaking his head in disbelief. According to those sitting in the front row, Schultz could also be heard muttering, “What..I don’t even see any wires,” while he was making his assistant float through a suspended hula hoop.

“It was a pretty good show but his shock was kind of distracting,” said Cheryl Jones, an audience member who volunteered for one of Schultz’s card tricks. “When he finished the trick and asked, ‘Is this your card?’ he seemed genuinely spooked that I said it was. He looked at me out the side of his eye and kept saying, “No way. Really?”

At press time, Schultz made himself disappear but everyone could still hear his disembodied voice say “whoa.”

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