Sources reported that area man Dolan Jorpe is absolutely way too old for his sarcastic t-shirt, which has a graphic of a loading bar with text that reads Sarcastic Comment Loading.’ “Oh yikes,” said passerby Kelsey Reid, noticing the haunting relic of mid-2000s adolescent internet culture that Jorpe deliberately put on his body before going out in public. “He’s at least 15 years too old for a joke like that. Where’d he get that thing, the graphic tees section at Kohl’s?” At press time, eyewitnesses figured Jorpe is probably just a CS student.

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