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The Brown Noser

Guy Wearing T-Shirt Under Button Down Surprisingly Not Christian

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

A guy walking around campus wearing a button-down over a t-shirt is not actually a Christian, report astonished students. Eyewitnesses initially assumed that Sam Wilson ‘19, who was spotted sporting a sky blue dress shirt tightly buttoned over a plain white undershirt, was an obvious church goer.

“When I saw this clean cut dude strolling across the Main Green wearing this super ironed button down, dungarees and brown merrells, I definitely pegged him as a congregant,” reported Sarah Weissman ‘20.

“Yeah, I was ordering a coffee at Blue State when the man joined the line," reported Jeffrey Winkelman ‘19. "When I saw him standing there I was sure he was a Baptist or something, what with that white tee just peeking out of a completely buttoned-up shirt. He even had black book under his arm that I just sorta assumed was a bible.”

However, the man’s evangelical attire proved misleading. Winkelman recounted that he was “completely shocked” when he realized that the guy had a Brown Hillel sticker plastered to his laptop, and that he was probably not very Christian after all.

“Sam? Total atheist,” revealed a housemate. “He just likes to layer up in the cold.”

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