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Recent investigations found that the guy you met one time in English class is liking some pretty freaky Instagram reels.
“I barely know the guy, but he seemed pretty normal during our first interaction in Fiction I,” recalled junior Zoe Turner, shocked to later see “liked by mike_lee” underneath a reel of an oddly phallic woodworking tutorial. “We exchanged Instagram handles in case we needed to ask each other questions about the homework or whatever, but Mike dropped the class. He seemed like a nice, down-to-earth guy though.”
“I always wondered what ended up happening with Mike,” Turner continued, unaware she was about to open Instagram to see yet another “liked by mike_lee” notification under a video of someone preparing a fruit salad with way too many slapping sounds for it not to be sexual. “I feel like he could have become my class crush if he didn’t drop the class.”
“Never mind, ew, that actual creep,” exclaimed Turner, very concerned to see “liked by mike_lee” on a video that read, “I gyatt something for you ;)” and was supported only by an AI-generated closeup compilation of anime characters’ backsides. “I always wondered who would ever enjoy this kind of content, and now I know. Sick freaks like Mike Lee. That’s who.”
At press time, Instagram going to send you a notification that your friend’s boyfriend just started following “@k1nky_kittyxxx.”
