Sunday, December 17, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Hard Times Force James To Downgrade Housing To Regular Peach

Published Friday, September 15th, 2017

In light of the Housing Bubble and rising real estate prices in New York City, James and his cohort of insect friends have had no choice but to sell their giant peach and live instead inside a regular-sized peach.

“It’s difficult,” admitted James, trying for a smile as Mr. Caterpillar stuck a “For Lease” sign into the giant peach behind him. “But we’ve been through a lot and we can handle this.”

“Downsizing is hard but we’ll get through this,” added Miss Spider, similarly trying to put on a brave face. “People don’t understand how hard it is to pay for real estate in the big Pe– the Big Apple. Or how hard it is for a group of bugs to secure jobs in the city. We’ve had some wonderful adventures and made some great memories in the giant peach but it’s time to move on.”

Sources report that James worked admirably to make light of the situation, holding up their new, mediocre fruit for all to see.

“It’s not so bad. See? Here’s the yard,” James said, pointing to a tiny spot of mold on the peach. “No, that’s grass,” he interrupted, when informed it was mold. “That’s definitely grass.”

At press time, James and his friends were begging for one more day from their landlord, who is a giant rhinoceros in the sky.

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