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The Brown Noser

Harshest Critic In Creative Writing Class Also Worst Writer

Published Friday, December 1st, 2017

After reading her latest essay, sources report that Sarah Turner, the harshest critic in Intro to Creative Nonfiction, is somehow also the worst writer in the class.

“With all the notes she gives to other people,” classmate Carey Maul reported, “I thought she’d be an amazing writer. But the essay she wrote last week was terrible. There was no logic behind the story, which was hard to believe since she once critiqued one of my pieces just by writing “Too Crazy” in red sharpie at the top of the first page.”

Other classmates report that Turner regularly points out what she doesn’t like in other people’s writing samples but never offers any solutions. They added that Turner doesn’t even have the decency to preface her meaner comments with a note about something she liked in the piece but, rather, just dives right into the mean stuff.

“Now that I’ve read some of her stuff, I can’t believe how bold she is about critiquing us,” continued Maul. “The structure of her essay made no sense, the dialogue was terrible, and the whole thing was filled with cliches. She’s ridiculed people for all of those reasons when they’ve shared their stuff with the class. How can she be that bold?”

“She sometimes even critiques notes the professor gives. Which is especially hard to believe now that I know she writes almost exclusively in run-on sentences.”

At press time, Maul still couldn’t bring herself to say something mean about Turner’s paper.

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