Accounts from pupils at Brumfield Academy, a boarding school for rambunctious youth, indicate that headmaster Alabaster Scribb is so, so cruel. “He’s a terrible man!” exclaimed William Rawling, a tiny boy now in his second year at Brumfield, glancing nervously about him for fear that the wicked headmaster would come storming down the hallway in a fury. “Headmaster doesn’t like us laughing or telling jokes and yells so loudly if he hears even a giggle! He’ll strike you with his cane just because you spilled a little bit of soup! He gives me such a fright!” At press time, Scribb looked very silly in his pajamas and nightcap as he chased an obstreperous boy back to bed.

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