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The Brown Noser

Healthy Fall 2020 Task Force To Rely On Regular Testing, Finger-Crossing To Keep Campus Open

Published Friday, September 25th, 2020

The Healthy Fall 2020 Task Force will rely on regular testing of students as well as vigorously crossing their fingers to ensure that campus stays open, according to an email sent to all Brown community members.

“Our data-driven response to the evolving public health situation requires continued vigilance, responsible behavior by all members of the community, and a whole lot of dumb luck,” wrote task force co-chair Eric Estes in the statement. “Nothing is perfectly safe, but we can take reasonable science-based precautions and then pray to whatever higher beings are out there to mitigate the risks as much as possible.”

“We know that Brown is a community that cares deeply about taking the proper precautions,” Estes elaborated, emphasizing the importance of individual behavior and random chance to the success of reopening. “That sense of care — along with four-leaf clovers, knocking on wood, rabbits’ feet, and a wish on a shooting star — will get us through this.”

Estes concluded by emphasizing that all Brown community members must do their part to avoid gathering in large crowds and crossing paths with black cats.

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