Correspondents reporting from Rutherford B. Hayes high school report that history teacher Mr. Hugh is giving a troubled student a second chance because he sees a bit of himself in them.

“Listen, I used to be just like you,” started Hugh, completely ignoring all standard protocol for disciplining misbehaving students. “I get it better than anyone.”

“You’re just lucky it’s me who’s dealing with this and not Principal Dugan,” continued Hugh, complicating the situation greatly in a misguided attempt to be a cool teacher. “I’m not going to give you detention, but I can’t keep sticking my neck out for you.”

“I hope next time, before you do anything stupid, you think to come talk to me,” added Hugh, throwing everything he learned at orientation out the window because he was a misguided kid once too. “This world is a cruel place for troubled people like you and me.”

At press time a local dad is giving his son a break because, hell, he was 16 once too.

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