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Recent research has concluded that a common joke regarding the country’s hipster population has officially completed its transition from “clever” to “overused” to “unbearable." The joke, which mocks the attitude of many hipsters toward the obscure bands they enjoy, is now not only not obscure, but the mocking of said joke has become a joke in and of itself, a key indicator of a full transition into the mainstream. Also, the joke is now bad.
“Oh, that joke?” asked Rick Camarena ’13. “Yeah, I heard that one … in fall 2009. Then I heard it 18 more times before Halloween. Now, I hear it so much that I am struggling to recall the blissful utopia I once inhabited in which I had yet to hear that joke.”
“Please, help me,” Camarena cried as a hipster passed by him, followed by a giggling student who was certain to then tell some variation on the joke.
It remains unclear exactly who is benefiting from the telling of this joke since it is surely ineffective as either an icebreaker or a pickup line, which are the two main functions of humorous statements. The offending joke has professors up in arms because many of them refuse to accept that an entire student body could unite around such a humorless trope.
“This joke suffers due to its generic nature,” claimed renowned joke scholar Ken Milton. “I mean its punch line applies to any set-up. ‘How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?’ ‘What’s a hipster’s favorite coffee?’ Or chair? Or soap? Seriously, anything.”
“This really makes it less of a joke and more of a suffix,” Milton concluded.
An exhaustive search for the origins of the joke has provided faulty evidence at best. A napkin found outside the V-Dub with the word “obscure” scrawled on it turned out to just be a really cool poem. It was the only artifact found.
“I can tell you all you need to know about where that joke came from,” said Kyle Ryan ’12. “I mean, after all, I know everything about hipsters. Like, for instance, their favorite board game.”
Ryan proceeded to say that the game was pretty obscure and that this reporter was unlikely to have heard of it. In an unrelated incident, Ryan was then punched in the temple.
