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The Brown Noser

Historical Society Quietly Hoping For New War To Reenact

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

The Providence Historical Society is reportedly hoping for another war so they can dress up and reenact it.

“We don’t want anything too big,” said the society’s President Mary Helma, checking the morning news for any disputes brewing around the globe. “Just a fun little conflict so we can get back out to the park.”

“What’s so wrong with a little well-dressed geopolitical scuffle?” asked Helma, crossing her fingers that major world powers would not only start sparring, but that their soldiers would ditch camouflage for fancy uniforms like in the American Revolution. “We’ve been reenacting the Civil and Revolutionary Wars for so long. We just want a change of pace. Is that so bad?”

“No guns either. With guns I don’t get to look my fake enemy in the eye before I pretend to kill him,” she admitted. “If the warring nations could have a few sword battles, that would make it a lot more fun for us.”

At press time, the historical society was forging government statements in hopes of instigating a fancy little sword war.

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