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The Brown Noser

Hopeful Mistletoe Hanger Figures This Will Be The Year

Published Friday, December 5th, 2014

Giving a final tweak to the same sprig of mistletoe that he hangs up every December, area man Louis Morrow said that if he had to guess, this was going to be the year.

“It’s all up to you, little buddy,” he whispered to the plant, allowing himself a small smile.

Morrow has been hanging up the mistletoe every first of December since he moved in 12 years ago, but this is the first time he has tried hanging it in the foyer, which is just one reason he thinks he will finally get a kiss this time around.

“It’s visible from the doorway, so really anybody could stop by and see it,” said Morrow of the Christmas decoration upon which he places all of his romantic aspirations. “And Jess replied maybe on the party invite.”

This isn’t to say that Morrow and the mistletoe haven’t had their close calls. Morrow mentioned that on his first Christmas here, Jess had confessed to him that she thought he was a “really great guy” while they were standing under the mistletoe, and just a few years later Jess had made out with Mark just a few feet away.

“Of course, I’m not leaving it all to the mistletoe,” explained Morrow, clearing a place on the mantle for the snowman decoration Jess gave him when she was his Secret Santa. “I’ve got a real live fir tree and little candles and the Michael Buble Christmas album queued up on Spotify. It’s going to be a really great party.”

While most of the refreshments are going to be over on the table, Morrow made it clear that the bowl of Reese’s was going to stay by the mistletoe. “Jess likes Reese’s,” he explained, concluding that if they both happened to be retrieving a Reese’s at the same time it would be “pretty hard not to notice” the plant. “And then, well, who knows?”

“The time is right!” reported Morrow, with a hopeful glint in his eye, “Eggnog, candy canes, a pretty little plant, and a handsome young bachelor. This is it, my friend.”

At press time, Morrow was saying how he’d even be happy with a friendly peck on the cheek.

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