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The Brown Noser

Houseplant Going To Use Nice 8 Hour Window You Aren’t Home To Completely Die

Published Friday, December 8th, 2023

A report from local man Avery Goudo’s living room suggests that his house plant is going to use that nice 8 hour window he isn’t home today to just completely die. “I watered it before I left, and all I have today are two classes and a meeting for my group project,” Goudo explained, his house plant having both wilted and shed its leaves less than 15 minutes after he stepped out the door. “I’ll be back by 6pm to check in.” At press time, phone going to use the entire nighttime to not charge even one percent.

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