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The Brown Noser

I Can't Help Being A Horse Girl Because My Mom Is A Horse

Published Friday, March 8th, 2019

I know horse girls are the worst, but I can’t help being one. They all have their lightly curled sandy brown hair, shoulder pads, and riding boots, but they’re just pretending. I am genetically half horse.

It’s true, my mom is a horse and that is the reason I am a horse girl. I love their flowing manes as much as the next horse girl and I try to do my hair to look like them, especially in the wind, but my case is a little different because this is how my mom taught me to do my hair.

I know it’s annoying when horse girls talk about horses and how they are majestic and kind creatures and they’re on the poster for every inspirational movie, but I can’t help it. My mom is just really great and I love her. She just happens to be a horse.

Sometimes I’ll be talking about how happy I am just being around horses because they have this calming energy and such understanding eyes and people will just stop talking to me. It really hurts my feelings because other people can talk about hanging out with their families and it’s fine, but I can’t do the same because my mom is a horse.

So next time you see a horse girl and start to roll your eyes, make sure you hate them because they are choosing to be that way and not because their mom is a horse.

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