Sources report that the Ben & Jerry’s flavor Stephen Colbert’s Ameri-Cone Dream actually tastes more like Seth Meyers. “I don’t know, there’s something more caustic and witty to these chocolate,” said local ice cream enthusiast Janetta Benton. “Less broadly palatable and sweet, a little more biting and substantial. Maybe it doesn’t go down as easy, but it’s an acquired taste that rewards you if you stick with it. Makes you work for it.” At press time, Sarah Jessica Parker’s line of perfumes smelled more like Cynthia Nixon.

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