Sunday, December 22, 2024
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The Brown Noser

I’ll Get You A New Chapstick But It Is Going To Have To Go In Your Stocking by Mom

Published Friday, December 8th, 2023

Another one? Didn’t I just get you a Chapstick? You didn’t leave it in the pockets of your jeans again, did you? You know it melts in the dryer! Alright, sure, I guess I’m just made of money! But it’s going to have to go in your stocking. You had a few less stocking stuffers than your sisters anyway. They’ve got matching fuzzy penguin socks and some nail polishes in there, but I didn’t think you’d want those. I don’t think they make the penguins in boys’ sizes anyway. Do you care what flavor Chapstick I get? Actually, don’t tell me, it’ll be Santa’s little surprise! But don’t expect the three-pack, I’m not getting the three-pack. You can get the one-pack and not lose it this time, hm? Do you like tic-tacs? I’ll throw some of those in there too, I don’t want your stocking to look too flat. Wait, wait, wait, you need new sneakers, too? That’s $100 right there. You’ll have to wait til after Christmas, hon, your father’s gonna kill me if I spend any more on you kids right now. And toothpaste for the bathroom? That can go in the stocking as well. But your shopping is done now! Don’t ask for anything else until January!

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