Sunday, November 17, 2019
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The Brown Noser

I’m Not As Fast On My Legs As I Was On My Bike. Please Let Me Have My Bike Back by Lance Armstrong

Published Friday, April 19th, 2019

I know I made mistakes and I am so sorry for them. But this isn’t about that. I don’t want to race anymore, I just want my bike back. I’m not as fast on my legs as I was on my bike and I miss being able to move so fast. Please let me have my bike.

I miss how it felt to have wind rushing through my hair. You get to feel that all the time when you’re fast. I’m not fast without my bike. Please, I’m begging you, give it back to me. I want to be fast again.

When I’m on my bike, it only takes a few minutes to go from place to place. It takes so much longer now that I have to use my feet. You just can’t reach the speeds you can on wheels with only your feet. And there are no gears to shift. I know that now. I’ve learned my lesson. Just please give me my bike back.

I thought I would be fast on my feet since I was so fast on my bike, but I didn’t realize how different the two things are. I’m telling you, if you all knew what it was like to be so fast on a bike, you’d never go back to using your legs. I am slow now and it’s unbearable.

Please. I want my bike.

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