Saturday, September 22, 2018
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The Brown Noser

I’m So Proud Of My Brother For Launching His Tesla Into Orbit, But I’m Stuck In The Trunk And I’m Running Out Of Air By Kimbal Musk

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

You may know me as one of my brother Elon Musk’s biggest friends, supporters, and partners. I am immensely proud of my brother for launching hist Tesla in to orbit, but I have a problem. I’m stuck in the trunk and running out of air.

I hopped into his trunk as a joke. I was so proud of him for his hard work, and wanted to put a smile on his face by popping out of the trunk and yelling “surprise!” the next time he opened it. But, I had forgotten that this was the day he would be launching his Tesla into orbit. And boy, has this decision kicked me in the butt.

Currently, I am locked in the trunk flying quickly away from earth in my own orbit around the sun. This poses a number of problems. Firstly, I need to be on earth in order to run my many boutique restaurants, my nonprofit, and be a part of my family. Secondly, I am almost out of air and I don’t know how long I can survive. I want to ask him for help, but I know how important each of his launches are, and I don’t want to make him use one up just to rescue his little brother.

If someone could get me, that would be fantastic. Either now or next time I come around close to Earth’s orbit. Thanks, and go Elon!

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