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The Brown Noser

Impish Little Man Does Incredible Numbers Among Whimsical Women

Published Friday, March 15th, 2024

In an adorable showing this past week, Felix Vandergreed, an utterly impish little man, did incredible numbers among whimsical women.

“Felix has something really special,” local whimsical woman Lacy O’Malley told reporters as Vandergreed pranced through a field of daisies, whooping and hollering the whole way. “He’s just so… playful. I don’t know. I can’t describe it.”

“His sense of humor is great, but it’s his pointy little ears that really sell it,” continued O’Malley as Felix grinned boyishly at an entire stadium full of whimsical women, inducing them all to faint. “He has this dainty way of walking that I can barely stand, it’s so adorable. I want to put him in my pocket.”

At press time, women in overalls did incredible numbers among men who weren’t popular in middle school.

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