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In a stunning move, Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder announced Saturday that the team would change its name from the Washington Redskins to the Washington Chinamen in response to years of protest. “It’s time to bring our team name into the 21st century,” said Snyder. “‘Redskin’ is a derogatory term and reflects years of discrimination against Native Americans. The Washington Chinamen will not stand for the perpetuation of racist or derogatory language.”
The name change comes at the end of years of protests by Native American activist groups. “We felt that the name painted Native Americans in a particular way,” said Snyder. “And not in the way they paint themselves. You know, with war paint. And feathers.”
During the press conference, Snyder commented that the term “’Chinamen’ reflects the proud traditions of the Orientals in America. Their fighting spirit and above-average intelligence are traits every American strives for. Who hasn’t been jealous of the nine-year-old Chinese prodigy who continually shows up your kid at piano recitals?"
Snyder also unveiled the Chinamen’s new logo, which depicts a calculator and A+ report card. “We wanted to make sure that we didn’t fall into the same trap that we did before when our old logo reinforced outward, but inherently racist, stereotypes,” noted Snyder. “And as you can clearly see, the new logo has all the positives of Chinese-American culture, minus the yellow skin and slangy eyes. It’s a win-win, and that’s what the Chinamen are good at: winning.”
