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In a new effort to reduce waste, Brown Dining Services has begun requesting that students hold out their hands like a medieval peasant when receiving food from University dining halls.
“Due to Brown University’s steadfast commitment to sustainability, we are implementing a medieval-peasant serving policy at our dining halls,” Provost Richard Locke wrote in an email to the student body last Wednesday. “There is a ridiculous amount of cardboard plates and plastic silverware thrown out every day. Starting this coming Friday, all students will receive their meals directly into their outstretched hands. After food is dropped into your grubby little palms, all you have to do is shovel it into your mouth. A few dirty rags will be strewn around each dining hall for you to wipe yourselves clean.”
Provost Locke went on to detail further dining hall policy changes in keeping with Brown’s new eco-friendly initiatives.
“BDS staff will be required to wear modest tunics when serving food to students," continued Locke, further detailing the eco-friendly dining hall policy changes. "These tunics are reusable and, since medieval peasants probably smelled bad, we won’t have to waste water by washing them. Additionally, dining areas will be lit by several flickering candles to reduce electricity consumption. Omelets and pizzas will be cooked over open wood-burning flames.”
At press time, Locke reminded students that they have to use a second meal swipe if they want to cup both hands together instead of just holding out one.
