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Sources in the class of 2026 report that a large group of incoming freshmen is fighting over which one is going to be the boy who takes drone videos.
“There can only be one!” bellowed prospective MCM concentrator Brian Goldman, as he began an elaborate ritual designed to designate one boy from the incoming class to be the one who flies a drone around the school and gets aerial shots of campus for Brown’s Instagram. “Get in battle formation, boys, and may the victor bring his drone to college. We cannot all be the drone boy, this we know, and I’ll be damned if it isn’t me.”
According to reports, the incoming freshman boys met in a darkened abandoned parking garage for a yearly ritual that has occurred since the invention of aerial drone photography.
“Only two of us remain, Charlie, and we can’t both be the boy who flies a drone over the Main Green on a sunny spring day, perfectly capturing the hum of university life,” said Goldman, as he and another incoming freshman circled each other like wolves inside a ring of jeering 18-year-olds. “My parents got me a drone for Christmas, and I’m going to use the hell out of it. It’s going to be me who turns a drone video I took into a GIF for Brown’s website, not you!”
At press time, a new ritual was underway to designate one incoming freshman boy to be the one who interviews random students on TikTok.
