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The Brown Noser

Indy Trying To Redeem Themselves After Recent Issue Made A Little Bit Of Sense

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

Pacing back and forth during a recent meeting, the editors-in-chief of The College Hill Independent were scrambling to redeem themselves after realizing their recent issue made a little bit of sense.

“We have to do some real damage control here,” design editor Nick Bates ‘20 said, despondently scanning the recent issue that didn’t contain a single two-page spread of blurry film negatives and actually made a comprehensible point about climate change in one of its essays. “We slipped up big time. I don’t know how to bounce back from this.”

Bates added that, in an embarrassing gaffe for the Brown/RISD weekly, the recent issue featured a poem that rhymed, and it even had a pleasant, innocuous ocean landscape on the cover.

“I actually saw people reading it, which is already a bad omen,” senior editor Kate Carellini ‘21 said in visible distress, anxiously raking her hands through her hair after noticing that “The List” section didn’t recommend a single book-binding workshop at AS220. “But on top of that, it seemed like they were even understanding the broad underlying meanings that we usually try to obscure as much as possible. We’re totally off our game.”

At press time, the Indy compensated by publishing their next issue in a new language they made up, which consists of letters that they also made up.

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