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The Brown Noser

Infant’s First Birthday Party For No One

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016

One-year-old Joshua Gay’s birthday party Saturday made absolutely no one happy, sources report. “More money down the tube,” said Gay’s father Richard as the magician, who all of the children were too young to understand and the adults too old to enjoy, packed up his things. “One of the toddlers threw up in the bouncy castle, so my wife’s just been dealing with that all afternoon. Maybe one of these kids will freak out and punch the clown. That’d be funny at least. I would say the one bright spot of the party is that Joshua will enjoy the cake with his picture on it, but he doesn’t even know what he looks like yet.” At press time, Joshua was crying.

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