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According to card game fanatics, a recent, innovative twist on 52 card pickup includes spitting and kicking the player when they’re down.
“It’s so great!” exclaimed Freddie Reuters as he scattered a standard 52-card deck all over the floor, waiting for an unlucky opponent to crouch down and start picking them up. “This game used to be really boring, and it would always end so quickly, but now with the new rules that let you spit and kick the picker-upper when it’s their turn, it’s so much more exciting. I want to play this game every day now!”
“I’m so glad that people still enjoy an offline game that allows family and friends to connect with each other,” added Reuters, kicking the cards out of the other player’s hand and watching with glee as they fell all around his feet. “I know my nights would be a lot more boring if I didn’t have this game on hand!”
“I really appreciate the added excitement and drama the developers brought to the game,” continued Reuters, shaking his leg and swishing spit in his mouth as he got ready to hawk a loogie and punt the living daylights out of his poor opponent. “Now there’s an added speed component and physical activity too, which is so amazing for a group who has diverse interests and preferences in a game. It feels like the perfect game for nights in, nights out, indoors, outdoors. It’s timeless, great for any occasion, and family friendly too!”
At press time, a modern-day iteration of Monopoly involved leaving losing players financially crippled in real life.
