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The Brown Noser

Insecure Radio DJ Keeps Reassuring Listeners He’s Handsome

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016

Sources report that WHJY DJ Chet Mowry has been spending most of his airtime reassuring listeners he’s handsome.

“You’re hanging with Chet Mowry this afternoon and we’re about to dive into an hour of commercial-free music,” he said at the start of his Tuesday broadcast. “This next song is one of my favorites. I’m a huge rock and roll fan, love some classic Bon Jovi, and am a handsome man. So here’s ‘Living on a Prayer.’”

“At first, I thought I had heard him wrong,” said WBRU listener Mo Thompson, “But then he just kept interjecting that he was attractive. At one point he was listing all the artists who had new music out this week—Arctic Monkeys, Bastille, Lorde—and then he just subtly switched into listing things about himself—thick head of hair, clear skin, athletic build.”

“I’m gonna be taking some calls now and really feel free to ask me anything,” announced Mowry near the end of his show. “Also, I know you’re going to be picturing me in your head so it’s important the image you have in your mind is a handsome one. I know a lot of people think people in radio are just people who wanted to be on TV but didn’t have the face for it. But that’s not the case for me. Take my word for it.”

WBRU listeners report that Mowry’s decision to spend so much time defending his looks has only made them suspicious.

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