Mumbling that this proves he can “take it,” local barfly Cassius Bronstein keeps lopping off his own fingers in front of onlookers to show how tough he is.

“Dare me," said Bronstein, hovering a switchblade over his hand. "Fuck it, I’ll dare myself. Boom! Bye bye, Mr. Pinky.”

Sources report that Bronstein has rebuffed concerned patrons who have attempted to intervene. “I don’t feel pain,” he growled, hacking off his index and middle fingers. “This shit is nothing.”

Asked why he chose this particular method of proving his toughness, Bronstein lopped off his ring finger and raised his bleeding hand. “I never back down,” he said.

With four fingers gone, Bronstein turned his attentions to his thumb. “Screw you,” he screamed while bringing the knife down.

When an ambulance arrived on the scene, Bronstein was undeterred, turning his attention to the EMTs. “You think you guys can handle blood?" he roared, using the disfigured nub of his right fist to hold the knife and chop of his left pinkie. “’Cause I sure can.”

At press time, Bronstein demanded to be taken to the hospital’s “badasses ward,” while gripping the knife in his mouth and vigorously shaking his head, sawing away at his remaining fingers.

Article tools

• Print
• Email
• Tweet