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The Brown Noser

Iraq War Has Cost 190,000 Lives, Only 50,000 with Inflation

Published Friday, May 3rd, 2013

The White House announced last week that the over 190,000 American soldiers that have been killed in combat in the Iraq War are actually only 50,000 American soldiers that have been killed in combat in the Iraq War, according to expert economists.

When asked about the cost in human lives of the seemingly endless war against a vague enemy in the occupation of Iraq for the past 11 years, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney reminded reporters that the 190,000 sons and daughters lost in the futile conflict that has lasted for over three administrations was really only 50,000 sons and daughters when adjusted for inflation.

“What you have to remember is that the value of human life was different back when this war started,” Carney said in a press conference last Tuesday. “Though the lives of 190,000 brave Americans sounds like a lot, that number is ignoring the huge crash in the value of our existences that has taken place over the last decade.”

Carney told reporters that relatively speaking, because the market of humans has boomed the last few years with the uncontrolled expansion of the gross world population, 190,000 living, breathing, conscious beings is actually a pretty small percentage of people these days. Market analysts have confirmed that the human cost of war has skyrocketed with the corresponding increase of supply, which means the absolute cost of lives has only barely increased over the past few wars.

“In fact, this administration is proud to recognize the hundreds of thousands of Americans who were not brutally killed in senseless battle due to the success of this administrations foreign policies,” Carney said. “Their contribution to our casualty statistics shall not be forgotten.”

Congress is discussing this week whether or not to raise the human life ceiling for America’s war budget, which the president argues is necessary to continue our success in Iraq.

“The life budget in Iraq is only 200,000 American lives, which is laughable these days,” Carney said. “We have to move into the future. This bill was written years ago, when 200,000 soldiers was still a lot of American lives.”

He said it’s like how a pack of gum in the 1950s only cost 20 cents, and now it costs somewhere like three dollars, which is only 25 cents when adjusted for inflation, “so you see, it sounds like 190,000 people is a good amount, but actually it’s like only five cents more than the pack of gum cost 50 years ago, the pack of gum being the husbands, wives, sons, daughters, mothers and fathers of thousands of innocent Americans.”

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