Sunday, December 17, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Israel-Palestine Conflict Settled In Youtube Comment Section

Published Friday, September 15th, 2017

After hours of heated early-morning debate, a band of Youtube users were able to find an effective solution to the Israel-Palestine question, stating that the efforts made by the past twelve American presidential administrations were “basically, over-complicated”.

“I’m not entirely sure where exactly Israel and Palestine are on an actual map,” commented one Youtube user, “but why can’t you just split the place in half, like, just draw a line right down the middle or something? I don’t see what’s so difficult about splitting the place 50/50.”

“I was just here to watch this Minecraft tutorial video,” a fourteen year old user added, “But I’m glad to help build a solution to this problem. There’s a long and difficult history which I think is pretty complicated but maybe if everyone just agreed to a fresh start, coming up with a fair plan would be much easier. If they can just get past all of stuff that happened in the past century, there’s really no reason Israelis and Palestinians can’t be peaceful." Many other users who had not watched news ever were in favor of this “fresh start for everyone” solution.

“I’m an atheist” prefaced one user, “and I think maybe if Israelis and Palestinians could step back and think about their religions objectively, they’d realize that they’re essentially the same thing”. Other intellectuals in the comment section agreed that disregarding all religious nuance would make settling religious conflicts much more straightforward.

At press time, the comment section had decided that US-Iran relations were also “over-complicated.”

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