Tuesday, October 19, 2021
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The Brown Noser

It So Weird To See People In Person Again, Reports Student Coming Directly From Martha’s Vineyard Mega-Soirée

Published Friday, September 17th, 2021

Sophomore Adam Cahan has reported that it’s so weird to see people in person again after arriving on campus straight from a Martha’s Vineyard mega-soirée.

“After a year of us all living online, it’s really strange to see all these people up close and personal,” said Cahan, unpacking the decorative leis that had been handed out at the luau-themed ultra-blowout. “It’s gonna be quite the transition.”

Cahan greeted his friends with a hug and noted how awkward it is to say hello to people these days as he quietly dumped out a piña colada with five straws into the sink.

“I just can’t wrap my head around getting back to normal,” he gushed, removing the floral-printed belt that had been used to tie everyone together in the conga line. “I think I’ve forgotten how to be around other people!”

Cahan expressed excitement for the year ahead. “We’ve really got to take time to appreciate the fact that we’re together,” he announced, taping a picture of himself with 50 cousins in Cabo to the wall. “If this year has taught us anything, it’s that we shouldn’t take what we have for granted.”

At press time, Cahan was nodding along vigorously as his friends complained about their summer plans being canceled.

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