Wednesday, April 14, 2021
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The Brown Noser

It Would Probably Be A Public Health Hazard If We DIDN’T Hook Up Right Now by Guy in Your Pod

Published Friday, March 12th, 2021

Hey, it’s been pretty cool hanging out with our pod every weekend. I know you take COVID seriously; I do too. According to CDC guidelines, it minimizes your risk to have a tight pod of people who you socialize with. So I think it would be the safest option for everyone if we hooked up right now.

I’m not going to lie, I’m a good-looking guy. Imagine how many babes I could be pulling right now if I wasn’t totally respecting our pod guidelines, which I obviously do. But if we hooked up – once, twice, maybe three times – there would be zero risk to us both. There’s no reason for us not to do the deed at this point.

By the way, I did test positive for the COVID antibodies over winter break. I’m no doctor, but I’m just saying there’s a chance I could pass on that sweet immunity to you with a good old-fashioned make-out sesh. But even if you do become immune, you should probably stay socially distanced from other dudes to be extra safe.

This year has been crazy, but I’m glad we’ve gotten to know each other better. See, I care about you. I want you to be protected from this deadly, deadly virus. And the best way to protect yourself would be to come over to my suite for a few hours. It’s honestly not even about us at this point, like we owe it to all those healthcare workers to get it on right now. So what do you say? Quick heads up though, I’m not a big fan of condoms.

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