Abandoning tradition in a commitment to social progress, a cappella group The Jabberwocks made strides towards equality this week by allowing anyone, regardless of gender, to audition for their pointless group with a dumb name.
“This is years in the making,” president Jonathan Shay ‘20 proudly explained, emphasizing that an immense amount of thought went into the pivotal decision for his silly a cappella group with a needlessly stupid name. “For decades, only men have been allowed to audition for The ‘Wocks. But now, anyone can give it a shot!”
“This issue transcends tradition,” he continued in reference to the loosened constraints on membership in a nonsensically-titled group that pretty much no one else cares about. “We hope that we’ve inspired generations to come.”
“We have big plans for the future of The Jabberwocks,” Shay concluded with a grin, apparently unaware that his silly group has no purpose beyond the occasional sparsely-attended arch sing. “Needless to say, these structural changes are long overdue.”
At press time, Shay waxed poetic about the decision in a newsletter to the elderly Jabberwocks alumni who serve as the group’s entire fanbase.