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The Brown Department of Mathematics made news Wednesday when they deemed department janitor Wally Jenkins a savant.
“I came into Kassar a few mornings ago to find my proof from the evening before completely gone,” related Dimitri Feydor, chair of the Math Department. “There was absolutely nothing on the blackboard, which coincidentally is the answer to this proof, as the problem has no solution. It was a beautiful solution to a beautiful problem.”
The department went on a campus-wide search to find the student responsible for the solution, resulting in the discovery of Jenkins the janitor.
When asked to comment on his math background, Jenkins apparently noted he “just cleans the blackboards.” “That’s every mathematician’s goal,” related Feydor. “All anyone really wants to do is write the cleanest, simplest proof on our metaphorical blackboards, and he does that without having to break a sweat.”
Feydor and the department were amazed when Jenkins performed the same proof again for them to observe. “The determination he has when wiping down the blackboard is inspiring,” noted Ren Xiaojia GS ’15. “It speaks to a man who knows exactly how to solve a proof, but has the humility not to show off or actually show his work so someone could verify it.”
Unfortunately, Jenkins’ true identity came to light when he was asked to solve a simple algebra problem, and again erased the blackboard. “For a brief moment, we witnessed greatness,” lamented Feydor. “But, like all great men, the things they lack become the reason they fall. In this case, it seems his failure was his inability to do math.”
