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Audience members at the Bohemian Caverns jazz club told reporters Monday that the jazz man on stage is making his little trumpet do all the nicest boops.
“When he boops like this I love to dance,” said jazz fan Marco Roth, who says his favorite boops are the high ones, though he’ll dance to the low ones, too. “Keep booping like this and I’ll bop all night, no doubt about it. His horn makes me wanna scream and get married to the boop.”
“I love the toots and boops coming out of this guy’s horn right now,” said Tonya Riley, who is new to jazz, and who says these toots and boops are making her wish she could stay right here and boppity bop ‘til she drops. “Beep, bop, a-boop bop, beepity beep beep. Woo-wee, daddy, if I could eat these boops for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I’d bottle ‘em up right now.”
Members of the audience are reportedly skipping to the snaps and cronks of the beat machine. The big boy bassist is thudding, bawming his way up and down the fretboard with aplomb. The key man is going dong-dong on the hand cannon, making the women scream and the men cry. And the man with the longest horn is making vas and vooms that make the audience clap with joy.
“The boop is my mom, the bop is my dad, the beeps are my sisters, and the bips are my brothers,” Roth said as he madly swung his hips. “These jazz men are tipping the scales tonight with their bopping. There oughta be a law against this kind of swing, but there ain’t, so I’m gonna marry the swing and live happily ever after. Sayonara, suckers.”
“We like to play here, it’s a good venue,” said jazz man Porker Johnstone, whose boops drove everyone wild. “Good set so far.”
At press time, a singer had joined the jazz men, and some of the swing was lost for good.
