Partly Cloudy, 64°
In a sad scene out of Jerusalem a couple thousand years ago, Jesus was reportedly pissed about the ratio at the Last Supper.
“Yeah, Jesus has been in a bad mood all night, there are literally no girls here, and he’s stuck sitting between James son of Zebedee and Simon the Zealot,” said Peter the Apostle as he sent a desperate missive inviting his sister’s friends. “It’s a bad scene. Simon and James won’t stop talking about the Godfather.”
“Judas was supposed to bring a bunch of chicks, but he totally flaked, he’s such an asshole,” Peter continued as he considered trying to figure out what Mary Magdalene was up to and whether she and some friends wanted to pull up. “The whole supper was supposed to be a nice thing for Jesus, and now he’s so annoyed. I really can’t imagine it getting any worse for him right now.”
At press time, Jesus was texting Susanna the Myrrhbearer “wtw tn?”
